


Searching for Light in the Darkness

by PointlesslyPoetic



Category: Fablehaven Series - Brandon Mull
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Light Angst, Platonic Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 23:58:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20882807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PointlesslyPoetic/pseuds/PointlesslyPoetic
Summary: It's been a long week for Kendra





	Searching for Light in the Darkness

Kendra couldn’t recall a time she had ever felt so bone tired. Not since Zzyzx, certainly. Her toes seemed to drag with each step, and she felt her knees buckle as the group moved across the swaying rope bridge. She, Tanu, Warren, Vanessa, the satyrs, Knox, and Tess had just finished speaking to Savani. The sun was dipping low behind the ocean horizon, painting the sky beautiful colors that Kendra couldn’t be bothered to admire. Sparking tiki torches lit their way, planted every four feet or so along the chest-high guard rails. She stumbled into Tanu’s broad back as the group halted. Warren gestured to a hut with four hammocks inside, like two floating bunk beds. There was a fire pit in the middle of the room crackling happily. 

Warren pointed. “Knox, Tess, you’re in here tonight. Newel and Doren, would you mind watching them another night?”

Newel yawned. “It’s not like we really have a choice, is it?”

“He’s just being polite.” Doren scratched his beard. “C’mon, kids, into the back destroying paper beds.”

“You’ll adjust,” Warren rolled his eyes. “Tanu, you’re up here.”

Tanu bid them all a good night, letting the silk shift curtain that served as a door whisper into place after him. The remaining trio plodded along, Vanessa draping a guiding arm over Kendra. Warren paused at a stairway leading to a lower level of platforms. 

“I have to run and grab the supplies we left on the beach when we ran for the canoe. I’ll be back in five.”

“Be safe.” Vanessa threw over her shoulder as she led Kendra on. They turned one more corner before coming up to a well-lived in hut room. The two hammocks had blankets tossed over them, there was laundry hanging around the room to dry. A small, rickety desk was holding journals, knives, and a chipped mug. A guitar rested in one corner, a massive tiki mask in the other. A dented shield was propped by the door with a slew of other weaponry. Kendra recognized two blow dart guns, as well as Warren’s favorite sword. She swallowed. 

“You guys have been here for a while.”

Vanessa sighed heavily. “Much longer than we ever intended to be.”

“I’m sorry.” Kendra said and felt the now unforgivably familiar feeling of tears burning her eyes. She felt Vanessa turn her toward her and felt herself enveloped in another hug. Kendra tucked her head into the older woman’s shoulder and felt a few tears slip loose. 

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Vanessa’s voice was warm steel. “Not to us, never to us. You did the best you could with what you were dealt with. Anyone who asks more of you than that just wants to see you fail.”

She sniffled. “Doesn’t change the fact that it sucks.”

A chuckle. “Nothing ever does.  _ Aci,  _ let’s get you into something comfier than that.”

After some rummaging, Vanessa produced maroon sweatpants and an old university t-shirt. Kendra vaguely recognized them as Warrens. She took the bundle. 

“I’m going just around the corner to brush my teeth. I’ll be back in two.”

Kendra gave her a weak smile. She changed quickly, tossing her clothes into a pile of what she hoped was dirty laundry. She lifted the t-shirt to her nose, and let the combined scent of salty sea air and laundry detergent and Warren’s usually-gross cologne hit her. It reminded her of Fablehaven, of home. A few more tears slid down her cheeks, unbidden. She brushed them off and was just putting her hair up in a bun when Vanessa came back in. She plopped down on the hammock, near the top, and gestured for Kendra to come sit on it in front of her. She did so haltingly, confused until Vanessa started running her fingers through Kendra’s hair, plaiting it carefully. 

After a few breaths of silence, Vanessa spoke softly. “Do you remember the nights after Zzyzx? When we’d do this?”

“I’d find you in the kitchen or the living room. You looked lost.”

“So did you,  _ mija _ .”

Kendra was getting really tired of these ninja tears slipping through her defenses. “Felt it. Feels worse now.”

Vanessa finished the braid and tied it off. She pulled Kendra back gently by the shoulders, arranged her until they lay side by side in the wide, flat hammock. Vanessa tugged on a rope off the side of the bed, rocking them gently. Kendra shuffled closer to her friend, and let her head drop back onto her shoulder. Crickets and exotic bird calls filled the night around them, and the soft roar of the ocean just beyond provided a rumbling bass to the evening symphony. Kendra knew she should be enjoying it, but the idea of enjoying anything right now made bile rise into her throat. 

Vanessa began running her fingers through the younger girl’s hair again, her short manicured nails lightly scraping her scalp. “There’s no one here but us right now, no one expecting you to hold anything together. It’s okay to take a moment.”

The tears that had been trickling out of her eyes all night remained a slow drip initially, but soon gained force, blurring her vision entirely, welling up in her throat in the form of a choking sob, a cut off wail. She sniffled deeply in a vain attempt to stop the torrent, but she knew it was too late. She turned fully into Vanessa, deep, wracking sobs consumed her. Vanessa held her back, saying nothing. Eventually Kendra tried to start forming coherent words.

“So many people-” she sobbed. “So many people are gone.”

“Yes, they are.” The fingers in her hair never faltered. 

“Seth is gone, and A-Agad is dead, he’s dead and it’s all my fault, and Bracken is gone and no one knows where they are, and he’s dead, and-” Kendra’s hysterical crying cut itself off, the words tumbling over themselves before falling away entirely. After a few more moments of wordless crying, Vanessa spoke up.

“I know how bad it feels, Kendra, to feel like all of this is piling up on you, because of you, and falling solely to your shoulders, but it isn’t. I promise,” she reached up to brush back some of the wet hair clinging to Kendra’s cheeks. “None of this was ever your fault. They all just needed someone to blame. It’s Celebrant’s fault, Ronodin’s fault, even Agad’s fault, may he rest in peace. They thrust you into this awful place.”

“But the Wizenstone, and the Blackwell, and Seth, those were all on me.”

“No, Kendra.”

Kendra felt her blood boiling at her friend’s soft tone. “Then who? Who else’s fault could it all possibly be? I was the caretaker, it was my responsibility! I was and am Seth’s sister, Bracken’s friend, the Queen’s handmaiden. Those were my jobs and I failed at every single one of them!”

“Kendra-”

“No! Vanessa, I am so tired, I am so damn tired of being everyone’s slave, of their pawn, of just another mortal figurehead in an immortal political game. I thought, that doing this, I could help, that I could make a change, and restore balance, and-” she took another stuttering breath, flopping futher down into the hammock, all righteous strength leaving her. “But I couldn’t. And I still can’t. I can’t make any of this right. I’m useless without Seth, and even without Bracken things are harder. I can’t help but think…”

After a moment of deep silence, Vanessa shook her a bit. “Think what, Kendra?”

“Maybe if I had let Celebrant execute me, everything would be easier now. For everyone.”

Vanessa was quiet for a long time, and Kendra felt for a brief horrific moment, that she was silently agreeing with her. But then she felt a heavier hand fall onto her shoulder, and raised her head to see tears falling down Vanessa’s face, a deep sadness in her eyes. 

“Kendra,” Warren’s voice startled her, and she craned her neck to see him towering over her in the growing darkness. “Don’t you dare think that’s true for a second.”

Kendra let her eyes fall shut, not wanting to face the sadness in her friends’ eyes. Vanessa carefully removed herself from the hammock, running a hand over Kendra’s shoulder. “I’m going to get some water, I’ll be back in ten.”

She hurried from the hut, trying to inconspicuously brush the tears from her face as she went. She failed. Kendra buried her head into the pillow as Warren came around the other side of the hammock. After a moment, she felt the weight shift as Warren settled into a lotus position near the top of the bed. 

“Kendra-”

“Can we just leave it alone?”

“No, we really can’t.” Warren sighed, and Kendra risked a peek up at him. He was raking a palm along his five-o-clock shadow. His normally bright eyes were dull, and more tired than Kendra could remember seeing, even as a catatonic albino. 

Kendra squirmed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, yeah, I kinda did, in a way. But I don’t wanna be dead, I just…”

Warren sat in silence, a practiced and careful silence.    
  


“I just wanna go home. I just want to go back to Fablehaven. I miss waking up to Grandma’s disaster pancakes before long days of yard work. I miss taking hikes with you and Seth. I miss playing chess with Tanu on the porch, or raking leaves with Dale,” Kendra paused to sniffle, not even a little surprised she was still crying. She hoped Vanessa brought water soon, she must be getting dehydrated. “I miss driving with Vanessa to the newest cafes, going to the supermarket at 3 in the morning for ice cream. I miss learning all about Fablehaven with Grandpa.”

Warren sniffled, and Kendra saw a few tears gliding down his jaw. “Me too, Kens.”

Kendra was surprised. “I thought you loved adventuring. Hasn’t this been the trip of a lifetime for you?”

Warren gazed vaguely around the room, a vague smile tugging at his lip. “At first, yeah. But as it’s gone on, it’s just made me miss my family more and more.”

They sat in silence for another minute, Warren eventually scooting down to lay next to Kendra. She dropped her head onto his shoulder. 

Kendra spoke eventually. “I miss Grandma and Grandpa. I don’t know how to get them back. I feel horrible that they’re trapped.”

“It’s only been a day, Kens, they’ll make it through. They’re tough old bags of bones. Really, you couldn’t pay me to fight Ruth.”

Kendra chuckled wetly. Her mirth faded fast, though, and the gravity of everything began to set it. “Warren?” her voice felt small.

“Yes?”

“Is this the end?”

There was a long pause. Warren reached down to grip her hand. “Not if we have anything to say about it,” he turned to face her. “I know you’re tired, Kendra. But we can’t stop fighting yet.”

Kendra sighed. “Are we ever going to stop.”

“I like to think that someday we’ll all come out of this okay. Not to sound too Disney-movie, but really, as long as we have each other, all of us, we’re gonna be okay.”

“I guess we all do make a pretty good team.” Kendra wiped some of the moisture from her face. 

“We make an even better family.” 

“Ugh.” Vanessa’s voice filtered back into the room. “I leave you two along for ten minutes and you’re getting all sappy and mushy and emotional in my hammock. Classic Sorensons.”

Warren winked at Kendra. “But Vanessa, we’re emotionally traumatized and wracked with existential guilt.”

“Get in line, Burgess.”

Kendra chuckled. She felt something cool brush her shoulder, and sat up to accept the glass of water Vanessa brought her. She drank it all, gratefully. The crying really had dehydrated her. Vanessa took back the empty class and dropped it on the desk alongside the coffee mug. 

Warren began to sit up, his back cracking magnificently. “God, I need Life Alert. Van, your hammock?”

“You two stay there for tonight. You both look ready to pass out. I’ll take yours for tonight.”

Warren flopped back down immediately. “Even though, according to you, it smells like fish and feet?”

Kendra hid a grin in the pillow. “She’s probably used to your natural scent by now, Warr.”

Vanessa laughed as Warren gasped in mock offense. Kendra felt the pillow yanked out from under her head before it hit her smack in the face. She spluttered and tried to defend herself but fell victim to three more strikes before Warren gave up. They all fell into a happy silence as everyone went about adjusting for the night. Vanessa came back over for her blanket, bringing a neck pillow with her. 

“For you, old man Burgess.” Warren accepted the neck pillow and handed over the blanket. Vanessa leaned down, brushed a light goodnight kiss against both of their foreheads, and retreated to her hammock. Kendra, who hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in the days since Seth was abducted, felt herself being pulled into what she hoped was a deep and dreamless sleep. 

“Goodnight, Kendra.” Warren whispered. 

“Things will look brighter in the morning,  _ mija _ .”

And for some reason, despite every odd stacked against those sentiments, Kendra believed them. 


End file.
